4 D's I Learned in 2024

Later this year, I decided to challenge myself to live more slowly. The decision, which started as just an idea, came to me randomly after I watched a YouTube shorts from one of the few channels I’m subscribed to. 

The creator talked about the beauty of little moments and taking life at your own pace—basically, living with more intention and stepping away from impulsiveness driven by social pressure, constant digital exposure, and the loose notions of YOLO, FOMO, and the “treat yourself” mentality. It only took one of her short videos, probably about 1 minute long, to convince me to grab a notebook and list all the things I needed to let go of to start living slowly. The very next day, I put my plan into action. I wasn’t sure if I was going through some kind of life crisis at that moment or just feeling unusually down, but I suddenly felt inspired and driven to start fresh. Mind you, this was sometime in September. Maybe it was the ber months' air that cleared my mental fog and helped me see things in a new light. But yeah, the very next day, I was surprisingly successful at resisting the reflex to grab my phone. That night, I went to bed early—around 9 PM—and woke up even earlier than my phone alarm. Crazy, right?

Honestly, before coming across the "live slowly" practice, I had tried similar approaches countless times in the past, and I failed every time. It was always easy at the start because the idea itself was motivating, but as time went on, my biggest enemy turned out to be consistency. Whenever I felt tired, I’d subconsciously and reflexively reach out for my phone, as if it had become an extension of me—a habit so deeply ingrained that it was far harder to break than I had anticipated. So, when I decided to try it again, I was worried I’d fall back into the same pattern and end up with the same disappointing outcome. And, to be honest, there were moments when I did. When that happened, I’d guilt-trip myself and feel like a huge disappointment. I would even go as far as hating myself for not staying consistent. However, during those tough moments, I realized I needed to stop being so hard on myself. Instead of seeing my slip-ups as failures, I started viewing them as reminders that I could pick up where I left off. I understood that to make the practice consistent, I had to turn it into a habit. But I also had to accept that I might be tempted or fall short along the way. Sure, I could be disappointed in myself or even frustrated, but I had to remember that giving in didn’t mean giving up. Missing a day didn’t mean I couldn’t try again tomorrow—and that’s what really mattered. That’s where I went wrong before: every time I failed, I’d let guilt consume me and decide to stop altogether. Looking back, I realize I only liked the idea of living slowly, but I wasn’t truly committed or disciplined enough to stick with it.

Now, I appreciate the process so much more. I’ve learned that I need to let go of the idea of perfection. I have to allow myself to fail but also to stand back up afterward. It’s okay to feel disappointed, as long as I bounce back. Slipping up shouldn’t be an excuse to stop permanently. Instead, I remind myself that there’s always another day to start over. I guess that’s the reason why I’ve been relatively successful since I started doing it. It took a lot of maturity to learn how to be gentle with myself. And gentleness, I’ve realized, is one of the essential ingredients for embracing a slower way of living.

Living slowly is actually subjective and doesn’t literally mean moving at a slow pace. It’s about finding your own rhythm and living life with focus and intention. This involves decluttering everything you no longer need and keeping only what adds value to your life, your time, and your well-being.

By doing so, you ease your perspective and quiet your racing thoughts. It gives you a clearer view of the bigger picture and helps you recognize the things that truly enhance your life.

(side note: you may check this playlist to know more about "slow living.")

As the year comes to a close, I’ve reflected on four important "D's" I’ve learned in 2024, particularly after embracing slow living. Here they are:

1. Decluttering & Donating

All this time, I thought the idea I had about "decluttering" was accurate, until I learned it was only partially correct when I binge-watched her videos on the subject. I used to think that the act of literally throwing your old stuff away—without much thought—was already decluttering. I remember seeing the term online, perhaps in an acquaintance's IG story, where it was mentioned. Although I believed I looked up its meaning, I didn’t fully understand it at the time, as I was only fascinated by the definition I found on Google. The word itself sounded endearing, and I didn’t put much effort into understanding it beyond its literal sense.

So, when I watched her videos, I learned that "decluttering" isn't just about "throwing things away," but rather a therapeutic process. It's about stepping back a little to gain a broader perspective—like looking at your room from a distance. Then, you walk toward your closet, open each drawer, and reveal the piled-up clothes. You stare at them and decide, as you scan each item, whether you still need it. If you’re still using it, then you need it. If not, ask yourself: Is it wearable? Can it be donated? If yes, donate it. If not, maybe you can repurpose it—perhaps turn it into a rug or something useful. If it's beyond repair, that’s when you can throw it away.

Decluttering isn’t just about the physical action; it’s a thought process. It involves asking yourself what you can donate or dispose of. This assessment helps you measure the value of things in your life and whether they take up too much space—whether in your closet, your room, or your life in general. By letting go of some things, you create room for new things, or simply more breathing space, making your environment easier on the eyes.

As the creator said, "Decluttering is not just an act of minimizing, but a way to carefully edit our lives."

Last August, I did my first major decluttering. It took me about three days to finish everything—from sorting through house clothes, outgrown PJs and shorts, discarded shirts, outdated jeans, to other old items. In total, I donated five boxes and two bags to Caritas Manila, Inc., our chosen charity.

I wasn’t expecting it to feel this good to do these kinds of tasks. When I started decluttering my things, I felt physically exhausted, yet oddly fine with it because I was genuinely enjoying the process. At one point, I became so engrossed in sorting clothes, categorizing them, and folding them neatly into boxes that I didn’t realize I had been at it for more than three hours straight. My stomach was growling, and my body wanted to collapse onto the tiled floor, but I didn’t want to stop because my mind wasn’t as tired as my body. Seeing everything scattered on the floor, with boxes wide open and bags waiting lifelessly to be filled, I felt motivated to clear it all out. At the same time, I wasn’t in a rush—I was perfectly at ease with taking my time to go through the process.

It truly felt rewarding to do this every once in a while. The fact that I could enjoy it while also helping others made it a win-win for me. Now, I’m decluttering again. It’s not as much as before, but there are still items I feel would be better donated than left to sit in our closet, taking up space.

I’m looking forward to sending these items to the same charity. In our own small way, we’re able to extend a bit of help to those in need, and that thought alone brings me so much joy.

If you wish to donate as well, please find their contact details below for your reference, along with additional notes:

Address: 2002 Jesus Street, Pandacan, Manila

Contact Numbers:

• 09298343857 (Viber)
• 09054285001
• 02 8243 7171 to 72

Email: donatedgoods@caritasmanila.org.ph

Additionally, I made a separate donation of old books I had, which I dropped off last October (or possibly late September) at Ayala Triangle. You may check this link for more information.

2. Digital Detox

It was from her that I first learned about "Digital Detox." The moment I heard the term, I was immediately convinced to try it, simply because it sounded so therapeutic. "Digital Detox" — maybe it’s just the alliteration, but the term really resonated with me (haha, whatever, Thea!). It only took one video on the topic to convince me that I needed a digital detox. To practice slow living effectively, I realized I needed to build a healthier relationship with my phone as my next step.

I started by setting up a screen time limit. If I hadn't added this widget to my home screen, I wouldn't have known how much time I was spending on my phone each day. After checking my data, I was shocked to discover that my average screen time was around 6-7 hours, and sometimes even 8 hours a day! Realizing that I was spending about a third of my day in front of my phone—mostly doomscrolling through social media—made me feel bothered and embarrassed. That realization hit me hard, sparking a sudden rush of determination to make a change, slowly but surely, one step at a time. So, I set my screen time limit to 6 hours. Of course, it wasn't as simple as just setting a target for how long I wanted to use my phone. I had to change my habits and the way I used my phone. This included uninstalling apps that I could live without, like Twitter, which I used to open instinctively whenever I was bored. For the apps I decided to keep, I made sure to declutter them digitally. I limited a number of friends and followers on my accounts, archived posts to clean up my profile, unfollowed Instagram pages that didn’t align with my interests, and unsubscribed from YouTube channels I no longer enjoyed. Then, I deleted messages across all my communication apps and organized my emails by creating labels for easier filtering. I also unsubscribed from newsletters that were just filling up my inbox. Finally, I went through my photo gallery, deleted unnecessary pictures, and organized them into albums and sub-albums to make everything look tidier.

Honestly, everything felt exhausting. I even caught myself wondering why I needed to do this when I could simply leave things as they were. But I knew I couldn’t. I realized that these small steps were important to embracing the practice of slow living. Over time, my screen time decreased to just 5 hours a day, and there were even rare occasions when I used my phone for only about 2 hours. It was incredible, and I felt proud of myself for taking on the challenge and succeeding.

Since becoming more mindful of my screen time, I’ve realized just how much time I actually have—a lot—and how much of it I can spend on things other than endless scrolling. There’s so much more to life than screens. Life isn’t in the phone; it’s in what’s in front of you when you look up, away from the screen’s light that strains your eyes and keeps your fingers scrolling. Since reducing my time hunched over my phone, I’ve begun to notice and reflect on the things I had ignored, neglected, missed out on, or forgotten. When I look up, I see books I can read, notebooks I can write in, and my pet, whom I can bond with more often than before. I’ve rediscovered the moments when I’d simply sit in silence, getting lost in thought, and unexpectedly finding inspiration for my next piece of writing. I’ve also returned to a life where I jot down striking lines from the books I read. When I felt bored before, I’d search for ways to fill the time, often ending up creating something meaningful...and I want this to happen again next year.

3. Decompress

2024 has honestly been so cruel to me. I went through a lot this year and found myself back in the same pit of loneliness. Everything came at me all at once, and I was on the brink of giving up again. This year, for the first time, I hated myself for how I looked. Whenever I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror, all I could see were my blemishes, dark spots, acne marks, textured skin, dead eyes, crooked teeth, and lips that always seemed to refuse to smile at the world.

To uplift myself, I sought solace in hoarding cosmetic items to conceal my imperfections, which had never been insecurities before. I also started intermittent fasting in hopes of becoming skinnier, thinking those outfits I saw online would suit me better if I lost weight. However, I wasn’t happy doing it. It felt like torture—a punishment I imposed on myself. I skipped breakfast every day and limited the amount of rice I ate. While I did lose some weight, I looked sad... and old. The situation at home didn’t help either. Every day, I woke up and sighed, bracing myself for another day—unsure if it would be peaceful or filled with anger.

Of course, the situation didn’t drastically change when I started living more slowly. I still have the same messed-up family dynamics, plagued by old issues. I still dislike how I look, and I still sigh whenever the thought of living like this hits me hard. However, I realized that I had to climb out of this pit unless I wanted to be consumed by the darkness. It’s a scary place—no one wants to be there—but sometimes, you’re trapped there against your will. The way out isn’t going back to where you entered; you have to go through it to find the exit.

I’m not sure if I’ve found the exit yet, but I’ve tried to navigate the darkness until I glimpsed slivers of light. I was reminded of an essay I once wrote about allowing ourselves to feel emotions other than happiness. It doesn’t mean we should settle there and drown in them. Yes, there are other emotions, but we shouldn’t embrace them so deeply that we prefer them over happiness. So, despite the heaviness, I started dragging myself out almost every weekend to have fun—even if it was just by myself. I went to the cinema alone to watch movies. I visited parks to read and observe people. I started listening more to my body and realized that the best diet for me is having a healthy relationship with food. Ultimately, what helped me the most was finding ways to decompress.

Yes, 2024 has been cruel to me, but it has also been fruitful. Looking back, I see how much I’ve grown this year. I found myself in many uncomfortable, even cringy, situations because I decided to finally put myself out there. I became brave enough to live for myself, even though it was so incredibly hard. I learned to take bigger risks without dwelling on whether the outcome would bring big rewards or not. Essentially, I allowed myself this year to let loose—to free my thoughts and intentions, to prioritize myself, and to be kind, gentle, and more forgiving toward myself.

4. Discipline

I mentioned earlier that my biggest challenge whenever I decide to start something is consistency. Honestly, I can declutter and donate, do a digital detox, and decompress whenever I want—but the real question is, can I sustain these habits without discipline?

I believe the reason I’ve been relatively successful in adopting slow living is my discipline, which stems from the goals and motivations that inspired me to start in the first place. This discipline has kept me grounded whenever I begin to veer away from the path I should ideally follow. To continue practicing the first three lessons I’ve learned, I need to place even greater emphasis on cultivating and reinforcing this discipline.

This is something I intend to carry with me into the coming year and beyond. My goal is not only to sustain it but to continue mastering it in the years ahead, ensuring it becomes an integral part of my lifestyle.