2021 hasn't officially ended yet, and here I am already in the process of listing down my Top 10 songs that I had, for a long time being, put torturously on repeat without the world knowing. Putting my earphones on is actually one of the best decisions I made this year when I had to look steady despite losing my cool already during working hours.
Listening to my playlist especially during afternoon, two or three hours after I take my lunch, has been my routine since the year started. It is a test of patience when I had to exhaustingly look for a fresh and friendly kind of playlist-- the ones with some songs I am already familiar with but are mixed in with other songs that have this certain snap of mystery to tell to a first-time listener. It is more than rare to find something like that since you are more comfortable listening to your self-made playlist. Speaking of which, this year I have gone through many self-made playlists: I think, I have created five or more which at one point I got sick of that's why I deleted them all and made another one where I don't think it followed a certain theme. I have other recommendations from Pinterest which I just listened to for at least two times in a row then have already forgotten its existence since then, today I have only one considered main playlist which I named WFH Playlist (LOL!!!) however, I've noticed that I don't play it anymore, but instead listen more now to the songs I liked but not officially added to my playlist.
My Top 10 songs are not, FYI, all new releases. Most are already years old which also have been my favorite but then forgotten until I remembered it again somewhere randomly. There are a lot of songs that I listened to for the first time while there are also others that feel like it is the first time listening to them. It is kind of hard squeezing so many good tracks into just "top 10" but I had to, to allow space for a little history and story. Here we go:
(Maybe I am going to list all the songs from the ones I am more connected just recently to the songs that have been sitting on my playlist but still feel refreshing and deserve to get an apology from me for murdering the replay button)
1. MAYBE IF - BIBI
I have seen the artist's name somewhere on YT but haven't heard any of her songs intentionally. I just recently started Our Beloved Summer, a newly-released original Kdrama series on Netflix, and came across this song as one of its first few tracks. Even you are not watching the series and just give this song alone a try, you'll be held captive right off by that short echo of heartbeat as soon as the song starts, follows immediately by Bibi's Maybe If I/ Woke up in the morning/ Hearing your voice/ May If I was with you...
Honestly, the reason why I am all excited for Our Beloved Summer is also because of their OST and this song is my fave so far. Bibi's brittle voice here sounds hopeful and regretful at the same time, going one by one to her many what-ifs that could have saved them from breaking up and apart only if they turn those into even ifs.
2. ALL TOO WELL (10 MINUTE VERSION)- TAYLOR SWIFT
When I thought that All Too Well couldn't be more heartbreaking than it already is, then there comes the 10 minute version which followed by the short film the day after the song alone released. I remembered I was taking my lunch but religiously answering my Kanji Anki Cards when a notification popped out and I lost my cool instantly there on my spot. Right after I brushed my teeth and finished some before-going-back-to-work routine, I put immediately my earphones on and listened attentively with all my heart to All Too Well (10 minute version) (Taylor's version) deliberately multitasking it with my task.
All Too Well is my most favorite song of all time. Many songs might capture me for a time being, almost make me forget about this song, but I am always going back here. Who would abandon this masterpiece when it makes you feel "things"? I love how this song just completely take away my comfortable singlehood and make me feel like I am devastated and okay but not fine at all.
3. WASTED NIGHT - ONE OK ROCK
Whenever I listen to this Wasted Night, I always imagine myself finally shouting every lyric of this song at the top of my lungs. I can see nebula blue in my vision, making tango with some blinding spotlights around the venue and it's hazy. Then there's the band on their musical space, I see drumsticks echoing despite the noise everywhere. Taka is wearing black sleeveless, sweaty, the white light aims at his spot is making him perspire while he whispers his way to the song. Then I am there right there on upper-box seat, standing while I am holding a long balloon pumping it along with its beat. I am shouting and singing at them. Then I see my back, foggy with a vintage orange color making the dusty air float-- a picture perfect of a slow-motion moment of a lifetime. And when Taka reaches the Let's live like we're immortal/ Maybe just for tonight/ We'll think about tomorrow (yeah) when the sun comes up/ 'Cause by this time tomorrow/ We'll be talking 'bout tonight/ Keep doing what we want, we want, we want/ No more wasted nights, I bounce along while feeling the moment with my eyes closed.
Wasted Night, by the way, is I think one among my Top 3 songs of them. It has been more than two years already when I thought I will be seeing them live, however, due to the pandemic it was postponed until notice. See you soon, One Ok Rock!
4. BUTTERFLIES - KACEY MUSGRAVES
I just happened to discover Kacey Musgraves on Spotify by accident. I couldn't recall how it was exactly that I found it, all I knew that I liked it the first time hearing it. The feeling it gets to me is like floating in the cloud 9 though I do not know what it means. It has a sweet melody that taste like a honey-flavored candy melting on my tongue. I see golden rush and warm burning colors of sunset on the rice field. I hear chirping blue birds in the blinking afternoon sky. I remember that I keep listening to this when I want to feel that butterfly in my stomach thingy and I can really feel it. It's a good song.
5. OCEAN EYES - BILLIE EILISH
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This song is serene. It reminds me of that calming shade of blue ocean, crushing its waves-- sparkling its crystalline colors against the sun above. Billie's voice sounds melancholic. She is whispering every word like a solemn breath and I see series of breaking points and breaking downs.
Listening to this song makes me reflect on what would be my life in the future. I don't know what is this about to Billie, but her voice especially in the chorus sends shivers down my spine and it feels like a glass of water when you gulp it down after running endlessly.
6. EASY ON ME - ADELE
I listened to this just few hours it was released on YouTube. It is black and white. If it has texture it is something like pulverized with some white bead glittery. I am not an avid listener, in fact, I am not yet that familiar with Adele's discography, and only know some of her songs which are mostly her hits.
Easy On Me reminds me of Easy by Sky Ferreira from the movie Baby Driver. Both are painstakingly relatable. They have lyrics questioning the brutality of the world and it's like asking gently to let them take a breath. They are out of breath. They can't breathe. They don't know. They just want the world to continue with them but let them gasp first. Give them time to catch their breath and bottle an amount of energy to face the day.
When Adele sings the part Go easy on me, baby/ I was still a child/ Didn't get the chance to/ Feel the world around me/ I had no time to choose/ What I chose to do/ So go easy on me, it sounds beautiful but tragic. She is able to bottle up all the sufferings and question in those lines. I am reminded again by that passing line in Linya-Linya Show when Ali, the host, said that "Maraming nalalaman pero marami pa ring hindi nalalaman- kaya palaging bata" which I connect to that part above. It connects. We are all a work in progress, we might know a lot of things by now but it is incomparable to a lot more things we haven't learned yet. The process of learning involves mistakes and regrets but we might not be aware of it because we do not know yet like a child. Every process is new and first time, the same growth that a child experiences. So, world please be easy on us. We are still a child. We are still learning.
7. QUEENDOM - RED VELVET
The best comeback of the year. During the pandemic, I developed my love towards Red Velvet. They are my best gg. They are the only girl group that makes me like cutesy songs without cringe, and truth to be told never in my wildest dream that I would enjoy such songs since I prefer girl crush concept. Red Velvet, through their versatility, has convinced that they are the concept. They live up to their originality and that makes them likable. They stay true to their red and velvet concepts and doesn't tamper when their comeback songs do not do well on the charts. They don't change to complement the fad, they remain on their spot unbothered like true queens in their red castle who don't need crown as they already born with dazzle.
Their latest comeback has made me whipped especially to Irene who is my least favorite member of the group- it doesn't mean I hate her, it's way different. Anyway, I was happy when they made their comeback finally as a complete group. They were all shining and blooming. The song is fruity, a specialty of the summer queens. I like that their comeback after their last is completely way different from Psycho (even I am missing that era and wanted more of their live stages). They prove that despite the gain of the latter song, they will not make it as a comfort zone to play safe for the sake of reception. They still comeback with a different era dazzling with pretty colors. Queendom is a vibrant song. I like how it started with Joy and her smiling eyes then followed by Irene's whisper of Queens. My favorite part is, of course, the chorus when both Wendy and Seulgi sings this lyrics together:
['Cause we are queens and kings
Put your hands up higher
The more it gathers, the more beautiful it gets, shining, bling, bling
Even if it rains
Strong and beautiful
Rainbow completed in all different colors]
It will surely make you dance!
8. JEALOUSY JEALOUSY - OLIVIA RODRIGO
The eight spot belongs to the immensely-talented and the only Rodrigo that matters, Olivia Rodrigo herself. I may not liked Driver's License the very few times I listened to it but it was Deja Vu that cemented my fancy to follow Olivia's artistry. One common denominator to all her released songs is the "relatability" and I think it because of her honesty. I heard that she is the one writing her songs and she effectively used basic words especially in this song to speak of her experience as youngster. She can be an effective storyteller through her songs.
Jealousy Jealousy is basically about her mind speaking when her insecurity scratches the remaining of her composure as a battling teenager. I just noticed how she used repetition of words on her lyrics as if mimicking those silent moments when she is talking to herself alone and mumbling words between doubt and affirmation. I especially like the part when she sings this line:
[Co-comparison is killin' me slowly
I think, I think too much
'Bout kids who don't know me
I'm so sick of myself
I'd rather be, rather be
Anyone, anyone else
But jealousy, jealousy
Started followin' me (he-he-he, he-he)
Started followin' me (he-he-he, he-he)]
I like the part that we worry too much of people and their say to us and that make us overthink about the endless possibilities of who are we really. It makes us question of our worth as a person, and it is such a dilemma especially to the kids growing up. They worry about the strangers and their remarks which don't have meaning at all, it is only their minds that control their composure. And Olivia manages to describe it to one of her songs in her first album.
9. BENCH - AKDONG MUSICIAN
This list wouldn't make sense if I would not include at least one among all the beautiful songs on Akdong Musician's latest album which is called Bench. This song, the first time I hear it, sounds like an unusual breezy afternoon in Ayala Triangle. The song evokes an image of an overcast sky, below is a replenished wooden bench that looks like newly painted and put under the sun to dry out. The world is bright and oblivious of this guy wearing a basic sunglasses that makes him look blind-- he's sitting there on that bench on his straight back, almost not breathing to keep that posture. Actually I imagine that it is Lee Chan-Yuk, the other half of the duo.
This song, if it is a guy, he looks gentleman. It has a charming melody with its ups and downs on some of its part in between. It has a casual vibe, something you can enjoy when you just finish grabbing your lunch and still has time to look around the familiar surrounding. There are two verses that are my favorite in the song.
[Verse 1: Zion.T, Chanhyuk]
Sometimes I just wanna lie on a bench
Fall asleep for a day and wake up
To find everything gone
And I will simply walk the streets
If I could get myself the most expensive and comfortable suit
Have my roofless home to myself
With trees and flowers as my only friends
I would never be hurt again
[Verse 2: Zion.T]
If I knew how to
Get myself the stiffest leather jacket
To walk around dancing
To part as migratory birds do
I would no longer have regrets
These verses sound casual. It is those things that you mention out of nowhere and feel like it is meaningless but it is actually those simple things that you wish can turn into reality.
10. SOMEBODY TO LOVE - KACEY MUSGRAVES
The first time I tried to mind every lyric of this song, I felt my eyes shedding a tear. It is the same feeling I got after I hear my favorite part on Adele's Easy On Me. It has simple lines. It has many commas. It is a song that won't derail your mind to think of what might be its multiple meanings if I listen to it repetitively. It is what it is.
Somebody to Love is such a comforting song. It is like a hand tapping your shoulder after a long commute from work. A cold coke float after walking a few miles under the blazing sun. A comfortable spot near the window after you come across a bus just right on time. A fresh breath of air.
I will leave the last verse of her song here.
Just tryin' to hold it all together
We all wish our best was better
Just hopin' that forever's really real
We'll miss a dime to grab a nickel
Overcomplicate the simple
We're all little kids just looking for love
Yeah, don't we all just want somebody to love?
Aren't we all just little kids looking for love?
We are all kids after all.
PS HAPPY NEW YEAR! HOPING THAT 2022 IS THE YEAR WE ARE PRAYING FOR
Another PS I should have posted this before December 31. I just finished this one yesterday LOL
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